Sunday, October 24

Sunday morning ramblings

I'm having a hard time writing again today, but at least I've figured out why: there's something in my story that hits a little too close to home for my own comfort.  Recall the m/m duo is destined to become a trio, but of course the boys don't know it yet.  And while neither the constable nor the werewolf realize it, the soon-to-be third member of their permanent triad is a) in love with the constable and b) aware that he's become mated to a werewolf, so c) believes whatever hope he might have had to be the constable's lover is now gone.   That hits close to home because, like most of us, I know how much it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, even though there doesn't seem to be any reason for the love not to be returned.  So even though I'm not writing in the third fellow's POV (yet), I feel his pain and it makes writing hard... although I've added VNV Nation to my writing music and that helps... erm.  Yeah.  It depresses me no ending, but in a good way  ;-) 

And no, before any of my close friends start wondering, there's nothing wrong with my marriage.  My husband loves me just as much as I love him. I'm talking about the heartbreak we both suffered when a woman we were both very interested in dating... more than dating... went from talking about 'when' she became a solid, permanent part of our lives to telling us it was never going to happen.  My only guess is that she wasn't as serious about the proposition as we were, which of course is her prerogative, I just wish she wouldn't have started saying 'when'.  Getting to this particular part in my story has brought that pain back up to the surface.  I guess that means writing will be good therapy, especially since I can promise that my fictional boys will have a much happier ending! 

Ok, 64,500 words and counting... I don't think I'll finish up by Thursday (I'm headed out of town next weekend, leaving Fri. after I drop my daughter off at school), but I'm trying to get as close as I can!  I've got my NaNoWriMo project waiting for me and hopefully possible jury duty won't interfere with my ability to finish NaNo (but I really hope I get chosen, I've never served on a jury before and as inconvenient as it'll be, I also think it'll be a valuable experience.  Besides, it's us 'little people' who make the system work, right?)

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