Wednesday, July 22

The best laid plans....

So here I am again.

Another huge gap between posts.

Another "honest, I meant to do better than this."
 
At this point all of my reasons feel like excuses even though at least a few of them *are* reasons.
 
And would you believe, I'd honestly planned to post from RainbowCon, which happened last weekend in Tampa, FL?
 
I had great intentions.
 
But I'm learning things about intentions and expectations (the ones I place on myself more so than the ones placed on us by the World). The more I "intend" to do, the less I actually get done. When I'm simply working at my own pace, relaxing, but making an effort, Stuff seems to happen.
 
I came home from Rainbow feeling...not exactly energized (introvert here; I had fun and loved meeting people, but being "on" like that is a little draining, even if I'm loving it in the moment), but...eager. Eager to get my butt back into gear and get these books finished. Eager to reconnect with you guys. Eager to say "hey, I'm alive, really!"
 
Eager to say "Thank You" for still being here.
 
I know the only reason these books aren't finished is because I haven't finished them. It's really just that simple. I know I sometimes let myself get distracted. Facebook. The Sims (3). TV. Books. And Life has been a bit nut-ball. But those are excuses. I also know that I let myself get caught up in fear. The fear that I'll never make a living at this. Well, hello, unless I actually get writing, I won't. Duh, huh? But it's easy to feel like you missed the boat on publishing, on romance, on anything.
 
On everything.
 
But you know what? There will always be another boat. The industry is ever-changing and the model that worked yesterday may not work tomorrow. The rules of the game are being written and re-written and I may never be playing the most current version, but I'm eager to keep going, not because I think I'm going to make "a living" at this, but because this--writing, telling stories--makes me happy. I truly hope reading my stories makes other people happy too, but at the end of the day, artists do what we do because there's a passion driving us forward, forcing us to create. Getting bogged down in sales and marketing and what other people are doing is the surest way to kill the passion.
 
It's time to take it back. To stop worrying and just write.
 
 
 
 

4 comments:

Kathy Clevenger said...

Welcome back. Now get to writing. LOL But seriously, you have been missed.

Dr. kold_kadavr_flatliner, MD, the sub/dude said...

High, girl!
While I realize my penname is quite morbid, yet,
you shall find in our blogs a lotta (subliminal) moxie
which has taken this sinfull mortal yeeeeers to compile:
I lay it ALL out for you, dear, with All-Star-Oxygems:

Wouldn’t ya love an endless eternity
of aplomBombs falling on thy indelible cranium?
An XtraXcitinXpose with no
zooillogical-expiration-date?
An IQ much higher than K2?
An extraordinarily, anti-establishment victory
with a sardonic, satirical wit Who’s savvy??
Here’s what the exquisite, prolific GODy sed
(with a most excellent detector of bull§ht):

“Faith, hope, and love,
the greatest of these is love -
jump into faith...
and you'll see with love”
Doesn’t matter if you don’t believe (what I write);
God believes in you.

Meet me Upstairs, girl, where the Son never goes down
from a passionate, lucrative iconoclasm where you’ll find
nonillionsXnonillionsXnonillionsXnonillionsXnonillionsX…
of deluxe-HTTP [<- pi] opportunities for excitement BTW.

Do it. Do the deed, dude. Sign into the Big House.

H.B. Pattskyn said...

Thanks, Kathy! :)

saratestarossa said...

I completely understand. You do what you've gotta do. But I wish you all the best with writing! Also, I realized that there's no goodreads page for Tentacles and Chain, which I reread not to long ago (love love love). I don't know how to make one but figured I should let you know it should be possible if you have an ISBN from the company you printed the copies you did print with. Since the whole thing is on your blog for free, it couldn't hurt to list it among your publications, methinks!