Thursday, October 30

Too old....

NOT! 

I'm 45.

Nearly 46.

I'm pretty at peace with those numbers. I'm not quite as at peace with the numbers on the scale, but *those* numbers are within my control (more or less. I mean, I would have to do some serious damage to myself with crash diets and mega exercise if I ever wanted to see a size 2--and I'm at peace with that as well. I like my health, I like good food, and although I want to drop a few more pounds, I'm pretty happy with how far I've come since last year.)

But. Despite being fairly at peace with my age, I can't help noticing the wrinkles and being a little unhappy. So I started looking up general beauty tips for women over 40.

At the same time, I've (yet again) growing out my nails. It's hard. But so far so good, even through some majorly stressy situations. I won't try to get them too long, that just doesn't work for my life. But a little long is nice.

So I started doing some Googling on polish for short nails and what's really long enough for polish because, well, I like nail polish.

What does A have to do with B? 

Being made to feel old.

Here are some "tips" for keeping over-50 nails looking "their best."  (No, I'm not over 50, but I'm not that far away from it, either). 

  • Shape—“Squoval,” not quite square and not quite oval, is the chic shape for natural-looking nails.
  • Length–Trim nails no longer than ¼ inch beyond your fingertips
  • Color—On fingernails, use neutral beiges or pinks, colors that go with anything. Light colors make your fingers look longer, dark colors shorten them. And darker colors show nicks more easily. If you are hooked on having a French manicure, use a soft white, not a bright one, with the tip applied in a very thin line. Wide white lines are NOT chic.
  • Art—Don’t even think about it! And avoid polish with excessive glitter. Don’t make people think you spent the night at a teenager sleepover.

  • I like rounded/oval nails. I hate the way my nails look squared off. 
  • I don't personally want long nails, but why can't an older woman have long nails? Seriously.
  • If you know me at all, we don't even need to address the issue of color because me in BEIGE?! PINK??! Um. Not a chance in Hades, honey. Bring on the black and the purple and the deep garnet red!  
  • And bring on the glitter! I *hate* matte polish (unless it's white. Bright, stark white.)
  • I'm not hugely into nail art (but I've seen some I'd *love* to try), but how condescending to make a lady over 50 feel like she can't have a little fun or she'll look like she came from "a teenager sleepover." 
The blog/page that this comes from is (ironically) "how not to look old." Except that that's exactly how I'd feel following that advice. 


I read essentially the same advice for make-up:

  • Look for neutral eye shadow tones like beige, taupe, and light gray. Avoid bright shadows as they "are not age appropriate." 
  • Choose a pink or peach cheek color. Don't contour your cheeks, instead try to make them look fuller to regain what you've lost with age. (Apparently the writer has never seen my cheeks!)
  • No shimmer; matte colors only (because you know, you're old and glitz and glitter are only for kids.)
  • Cut down on the eyeliner, but use more mascara.
And you know what? The beauty of being 45 is being old enough to decided NOT to follow any of this because I don't want to look like my grandmother. Don't get me wrong, she was a beautiful lady and her make-up and (long, rounded) nails reflected her personality.

My look is mine, not hers. It's dark nail polish, shimmery white eyeshadow, glittery eyeliner, and electric blue and pink hair. I'm not sure what 50 is going to look like, but I can take some guesses...

  







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